Monday, April 30, 2012

Berks Spring Assault

First things first, I finished the last model I needed to field to fight it out at Berks Spring Assault (a really well put together yearly tournament that goes on in my area, google it! 77 people ended up playing!):

This was the first public fight my Angry Marines were to participate in! The tourney was 1000 pts, 4 rounds, each mission was secret until the round started. My list was as follows:

 - Moarfistin (Meph)
 - 10 x Angry Marines (DC w/ various upgrades)
 - Brother Caede (DC Dread)
 - Land Speeder w/ AssCan and Melta
 - StormRaven

That's right, no scoring units. I decided that taking objectives was less important then JUST FUCKING KILLING EVERYTHING. I went not planning to win, or even come close, I was in it for the LULZ. was announced that, for the purposes of the tourney, anything with a WS counted as a scoring unit, unless specifically noted otherwise (death company, drones, etc). Hrm! That leaves me with one scoring unit (Moarfistin) and another scoring unit that won't actually stay still (Brother Caede). WELL SHIT, NOW I CAN'T LOSE!!

Here's the scene:

They also had a painting/model competition called the "Golden Grot". Basically you could enter models you would not be playing with in up to 3 categories, and all the people there would vote. I entered my Black Brother in single mini and got this:


What follows is a half assed attempt at some battle reports. Many of my pictures were awful and had to be deleted, so I've just included the (somewhat) acceptable ones.


Basically, this was a 3 objective mission; control/contest them at the end of the game and get points, you also got points for killing the enemy commander. My opponent had lotsa shoota boyz, lootaz, flash gitz, kommandos, and a big mek in a grot squad.

I could have played it safe, or I could JAM MY WHOLE ARMY DOWN HIS FUCKING THROAT UNTIL HE IS DEAD. I did some quick math in my head and decided, although it's a risk, there's a good chance it will work and I will probably board him in like 2 turns if it does. ALSO IT'S THE FUCKING ANGRY THING TO DO!!

So I charged my Raven (carrying Caede the Angry Marines) right into his shit, with my speeder and Moarfistin on it's heels. As expected, he surrounded it, assaulted it, and one lucky power klaw got through and wrecked it. Just about anything else would have been ok, but wrecked meant that I lost everything inside. FUCK, that was like 80% of my army. I gambled and lost, oh well.

With the Raven dead, my speeder busied itself taking pot shots at the orks try to take my objective until it was eventually stripped of it's weapons and blown up.

Moarfistin did much better. He slaughtered his way though a flash git mob and a bunch of orks until he reached the Mek, who was then treated to a MIGHTY FUCKING FIST UP THE DICK. He then sat on the enemy's objective until the green hoard eventually pulled him down.

Overall, it was a fun game. I made a gamble and lost, but wracked up a nice kill tally and fought until the bitter end.



This mission was interesting. Basically we each picked a troop model and "swapped" them. The "traitor" got an extra wound,  a 5+ invuln, and became an independant char attached to the squad that the other traitor came from. I picked a Sgt w/ a power fist, he picked an Angry Marine with a Thunder Wrench. Basically you got points for:

  1. Kill the traitor
  2. Kill the traitor's Squad
  3. Kill the enemy Commander
  4. Keep them from doing all those things to you
He had two squads in pods, a dread, 2 speeders, and an elite squad (Sword Brethren?) that was flanking. Turn one had us shoot at each other a bit, our speeders started dog fighting, a speeder got stunned, but that was about it. Turn two, he failed his reserve rolls, I blew up his one speeder, and brother Caede killed his dread with a melta to the face. Our two speeders continued their dog fight on the empty side of the table.

His one pod (with the traitor and his Champ) dropped in right behind me to take revenge on Caede. A plasma pistol to the back saw him 'splode.

Speeders still dog fighting.

Revenge for Caede! Moarfistin and my Angry Squad charge his Champ, traitor, and marine unit!

Me finishing the dog fight!

My traitor ended up being wounded by the Champ, but not killed, Champ & friends were completely wiped out. Other than that, I just lost 2 Marines to my own stolen thunder wrench!

The circle is where his Elites finally came in, and died, Speeder and Raven combined their firepower to UNLOAD ABOUT A DOZEN CRATES OF FUCK YOU ON THOSE POSERS.

His final Pod came in at the same time. I charged him with everything, and...

They died.

Crushing Victory for me! My opponent was really crippled by some unlucky reserve rolls. I was basically able to just overwhelm him because he kept coming in piecemeal :(


This was another objective mission, but a bit different. Basically you got points at the end of each enemy turn for each objective you had a scoring unit in B2B with. There were 4 objectives. I had, as stated before, two scoring units, one of which has ADHD.

My opponent had a tac squad mounted in a crusader with a Sang Priest, and an assault squad led by his commander, also with a Priest.

To start he parked his Crusader next to one objective and flew his assault marine over to my side to dry and dislodge me. I parked my Raven on my closest objective, using Caede as the scoring unit; since he's embarked, he can't fucking run off like a dumbass.(which is a really funny mental image) Moarfistin then flew to my second objective and started a staring contest with the land raider. My speeder charged forward to harass the incoming assault squad.

The assault marines took heavy casualties as they advanced on me ( I was rending like a boss), but they managed to take out my speeder. I then deployed my Angry Squad to FUCK THEIR SHIT UP. Meanwhile, Moarfist decided that after two turns of getting shot, that the Land Raider had blinked; he flew over and swatted off the melta and stunned it.

As you can see, no more assault squad or commander. The land raider and storm raven started exchanging fire, and the Angry Squad ran forward with a mighty FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Meanwhile, Moarfistin jumped over the Land Raider and began to fuck up the marines holding the back objective.

The Land Raider got a lucky Rend and took out the Raven, and THAT DUMBSHIT CAEDE WAS GOING TO MOVE AWAY FROM THE OBJECTIVE.

Luckily, there where no more enemy models after that, so I was able to sit on the markers and generate points until the game ended. VICTORY!!!


This battle was just an annihilation mission; sounds great, right? Fuck no. I will just summarize since it was an embarrassment. Basically I tried to let him come to me, then counter attack(like game 3), when I should have pulled what I did in game 1. That combined with some surprise powerfists with 18 million attacks because the bearer holds the yiffing stone of wolfy mcwolfingston, or something, I don't fucking know. That has always been my problem with the puppies, at least other armies TRY to justify their cheesy nonsense rules, SW just paint two dogs fucking on a bolter and suddenly it's an ordinance melta gun that counts as a power sword in CC.

Regardless of my feelings on the in-the-closet-furries, I fucked up, and my opponent took advantage of that fuckup ruthlessly and efficiently. Here's the pics:

So 2 and 2? Waaayy better then I planned on, and I had a blast! After the games we moved onto the raffles (which I won nothing from) and the prizes. First I got this:

WAIT, WHAT? I THINK THERE HAS BEEN A MISTAKE! DO I FUCKING LOOK RED TO YOU?!?! The little blurb on the bottom made me laugh really hard, considering what I brought.

Then I got these! I ended up walking away with a Razorwing, LR Redeemer, and an armfull of other assorted loot!

I had no idea I was going to walk outta there with such a haul! If anyone from Berks Gaming club is reading this, thanks for your support, and thanks for putting on such an awesome event!!! Can't wait till next year!!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Storm Raven Finished!

Finally! Done!

Blogger is being stupid, if you want to see the full sized pictures, click here.

This thing took a lot of work, and has burned me out pretty good. Still got a Landspeeder to get ready for the tourny though.....sigh...

Friday, February 10, 2012

Tourny Shit & Other Delightful Things

I have a lot of awesome, derp, and raeg going on in my life right now, so my Angry Marines have not been getting the attention they should. Hopefully, it will all wrap itself up soon.

I have a 1000 pt tourney coming up soon that I need to prepare for, so I am forcing myself to paint everything in the list before doing other things. My list consists of:

  • Moarfistin (Mephiston)
  • 10 Angry Marines (death company equipped as per previous posts)
  • Belligerent Engine w/ counts as blood talons (not Brother Ignus from my last post)
  • Stormraven Gunship
  • Landspeeder Fuckstorm (ass-cannon and multimelta)
That's right, I am participating in a real tournament without a single scoring unit, BECAUSE HOLDING OBJECTIVES IS FOR PUSSIES. I will NOT win, but it WILL be glorious to simply murder as many things as possible, have some really interesting games, hopefully give some people laughs, and hopefully get an appearance award. More likely, I will end up playing the one obligatory 7 year old, and his over-sensitive ex-navy seal dad will take offense and use my colon to shine his shoes (this is all hypothetical, I don't know any such people, but knowing my luck I should probably come up with an escape plan, or some emergency proxy models, just in case). Oh, how I suffer for my art...

Anyway, here's what I have been able to accomplish (usually in 1 hour long chunks here and there) in the last month or two:

Angry Marine Black Brother
I was going to wait to finish this guy until my tourney stuff is done, but the bits all arrived and my will is weak! Still, the people I have shown him to have practically fapped, which is good for my morale, which motivates me to make moar dudes, which is good. The other 4 will not be made until my tourney list is completed, however.....I WILL be strong.

Belligerent Engine, Brother Caede

Finally finished him! He will be attending my tourney, and has already racked up an impressive body count in my practice games. He's up to 5 scarab bases, &10 necron warriors in one game, and about 28 guardsmen in another (all in one turn, 18 of which were in CC, FUCKING EPIC, it would have been higher, but we had to cut off the game early).

Here's my stormraven's assembly process so far:


^ The first bit of ANGRY added to my raven. USE YOUR FUCKING TURN SIGNAL YOU FART CATCHER.

The 2nd bit of ANGRY was a request from the warseer forums. I had a request to make the turret a Terminator dual wielding assault cannons and smoking a cigar. SO IT SHALL BE DONE.

Not counting the "turret" and the rest of the bird, I have 5 more marines, and one extremely unfortunate xenos, that have to be converted and painted to complete this beast. It's going to be painful, yet hopefully epic as hell.

That's it it for now. Hopefully more updates soon, more stormraven goodness, and a land speeder with a dozer blade!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Late Updates and Writefaggotry

Hello all! I'm too lazy to write anything substantial, so here's a dump of progress pictures that have been building up since last post:

The start of my first Black Brother (an elite Angry Marine that is so upset that he catches on fire. Yes I am also shocked that this is not a racist joke, seeing as it came from 4chan). The jet plume is made from gorilla glue, I'm pretty proud of it:

I ran into some problems with the arms on brother Caede, so I finished brother Ignus instead:

Belligerent Engine, Brother Ignus

Also started work on Bruisiarch Pugnacious, the Grimdark (counts as Astaroth the Grim):

And last, but certainly not least, we have the finished Moarfistin, the Extremely Cross:

Moarfistin, The Extremely Cross (counts as Mephiston)
I posted this pic as well as some homebrew fluff for him on 4chan, and not only did they add to it, but he is now included on the wiki page as official Angry Marine canon. Lookie! I know right? You are currently looking at the blog of a famous person. Gonna put that shit on my resume. Anyway, here's the aforementioned writefaggotry:

♦­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­♦­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­♦­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­♦­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­♦­
Some say that before being brought into the chapter for initiation Moarfistin was a proctologist's assistant on a far flung Imperial colony. It was on that colony that an experimental plague released by Nurgle cultists caused a widespread pandemic of deadly dysentery.

The colony did not have a large population, and the colonies doctors, including his master, were the first targeted by the horrific disease. Being the only trained professional for his line of work, all the cases fell upon him. He slaved for months, mired in feces and the corpses of his loved ones. A hellish life of failure and perpetual disgust eventually took it's toll and he became increasingly violent and angry. One morning, he awoke to find that the last living colonists had shat themselves to death all over his equipment, and that the feces had transformed into capering Nurglings. At this point, the records say, he "completely lost his shit".

The cultists were absolutely gleeful that their plague had done its work and killed the entire population; little did they know that one man, reinforced by a healthy diet high in fiber and latent psychic powers, had survived. A furious Moarfistin (as he would become known, original records on his true identity have been lost) came screaming over the horizon surrounded in a nimbus of psychic energy and as angry as at least 25 motherfuckers. Caught off guard, and then caught with medical instruments up their colons, the cultists knew true despair. This unstoppable path of destruction continued among the heretics as the newly born Moarfistin continued to force larger and larger objects up each individual anus.

Far away, an Angry Marine battle barge traveling the warp was buffeted by the waves of pure, seething, righteous rage. Impressed with this display of anger, and utterly furious that "pizza day" lunch had been interrupted, they diverted course to the world. There they found Moarfistin standing atop of pile of embarrassingly mutilated corpses; not a single daemon or cultist had survived. The scrawny, glowing figure was recorded as shouting: "THAT OUGHT TO SHUT YOUR FUCKING SHIT BOXES, YOU DRIBBLING CUNTS!!"

Although Space Marines usually recruit from feral worlds with hardy, muscular warriors, an exception was made for this otherwise scrawny butt doctor turned mad berserker. He was recruited immediately into the Librarium, where he would rise to a high rank.

Armed with the terrifying "Fisting Stick" and traveling in his mighty battle-barge, "Considerable Shouting", Moarfistin is currently leading the Somethingth Company of Angry Marines on a Crusade to "COMPLETELY FUCK UP THOSE VAGINA HEAD TAU". He decided to do this after accidentally viewing Gundam fanart of a particularly disturbing nature. Unfortunately (for all the enemies of the Imperium between point A and point B) he started the crusade while on the complete opposite end of the galaxy from the Tau Empire.

When an allied inquisitor questioned the sanity of plotting a course directly through the Eye of Terror, Moarfistin replied "IT WILL BE THE BLEEDING ASSHOLE OF TERROR WHEN I'M DONE WITH IT!!". To prove his point he then impaled a carnifex with it's own head, gave the inquisitor a full body Apache burn as well as wedgie, all within the span of eleven seconds.

The "Somethingth Company" of Angry Marines is named as it is because the normally chaotic organization of the Chapter is compounded by fact that Moarfistin recruited for the Crusade by simply yelling "YOU STUPID SHITS DON'T LOOK BUSY!! GET ON BOARD, WE'RE KILLING SOME FUCKING XENOS!!". Thus began what is anticipated to be a very long, bloody campaign.

Menacing as Librarian Moarfistin's appearance is, some would wonder why he lacks a pyschic hood. To which he responds "I DON'T NEED A GOOFY LOOKING MAGIC HAT TO PROTECT ME FROM HERETICAL BULLSHIT!"
And that is that! Until next time...

PS - this just came in the mail /evilgrin: